Divorce Checklist
Things to Know Before You File

If your divorce is yet to be finalized, you need to read this divorce checklist. Figuring out all the steps and processes and making sure all the details are covered can be a wee bit overwhelming. I'll try to make some sense of it for you, here.

What papers do I have to submit? How long does it take? More importantly- how can I make sure I get a fair divorce settlement, and plan for the future? It might help to print out this divorce checklist as you work through your divorce negotiations.

Well, times are hard and more people are getting divorced without the help of a lawyer than ever before. If you're in that boat, you'll have to make sure that you and your soon-to-be-ex can reach an agreement on all the terms that matter. Even if that is the case, it's always best to have an attorney review your divorce terms, and/or give you legal advice for divorce before you submit them to the court. Here's a list of things to consider and figure out when drawing up the terms of your divorce; your go-to divorce checklist.

1. Division of Property

   You'll have to agree on an equitable division of all your stuff. Who gets the house? Will the house be sold? Who gets which car, and who makes the payments? How will all your household stuff be divided? All these questions will have to be answered in your terms of divorce, or final divorce decree. Many times, a divorcing couple has already divided their property even before the forms are drawn up.

   If there is a house involved, that can get sticky. You will need to decide who will keep the house, and transfer the title and mortgage into that spouse's name. If there is equity in the house, will that spouse have to pay the other their half? If there is negative equity in the house, how will you handle that? Also determine who will pay what, including property tax, insurance and utilities. Make sure these arrangements are clearly stated. This can be a great bargaining tool. Are you willing to accept less equity from the house, in exchange for a higher child support or alimony amount, or possibly less debt? Be open to negotiation, and try to be fair as much as you can.

2. Division of Non-Tangible Assets

   Don't forget about the stuff you own that isn't sitting in front of you. Things like 401(k)'s, other investment accounts, profit sharing accounts, pension, savings and checking accounts.

3. Marital Debt

   Marital debt is debt that was incurred during the marriage, not any debt that existed before the marriage. You will have to decide how to equitably divide any debt you have, and clearly state who will be paying what. (If one person is responsible for a credit card debt, you will want to make sure the other's name is removed from the account to prevent trouble down the road.) Usually, debt incurred before the marriage stays with the person who owns it, so be fair. If you had student loans before you got married, don't expect your ex to pay for them.

4. Custodial Parent

   The custodial parent is the parent the kids will live with most of the time. (Although sometimes kids live with each parent 50% of the time.) The custodial parent's address will be the child's official address. The custodial parent may be eligible to receive child support, and will be responsible for making major decisions for the child. The amount of involvement the non-custodial parent has varies with the child custody arrangement, and the type of custody that you choose.

5. Child Custody

   I don't have to tell you this is a big one. This is one of the most important parts of the divorce checklist. When you've got kids and divorce proceedings going on, the situation can get complicated and emotionally charged. Keep your cool, and take time to understand what each custody arrangement means. There are many different child custody arrangements, and you will have to decide which one fits your family's situation the best. Try to look at the arrangement from a coparenting perspective. If you are open to reviewing and adjusting the plan every so often, that should be stated in your documents.

   Most coparents choose some form of joint child custody. It's not enough to just state that there will be joint child custody, though. Generally, you can choose between joint legal custody and joint physical custody. You can also choose to have joint child custody, while one parent has sole legal or physical custody. Of course, you can also choose sole custody, but that does not mean the other parent doesn't see the kids...I know, it's confusing. To learn more, go to Joint Child Custody vs. Sole Custody.

6. Visitation

   So, the kids will officially live with the custodial parent, and you will need to decide on a visitation schedule for the non-custodial parent to spend time with them. Visitation schedules vary widely, but keep in mind that the state usually mandates a minimum visitation schedule.

   For example: minimum visitation in my state is one weeknight a week (not overnight), every other weekend and every other holiday, for kids 5 and up. Again, the goal is for both parents to work together in coparenting. Try to create a schedule that allows both parents to be actively involved in your kids' lives, as much as they are able.

7. Child Support Payment

   Another crucial part of the divorce checklist. Figuring a base child support payment amount is easy. Your state should have a table where you plug in your income, your spouse's income, the number of kids and the custody arrangement. Once you enter all that information, it will determine the amount of child support payment the non-custodial parent (usually) will have to pay. This part can induce a feeling much like a punch to the stomach for the parent who will be paying child support. Expenses for kids and divorce proceedings add up pretty quick.

   Tip: This may or may not include amounts for daycare, health insurance or medical expenses. If not, make sure that you specify how much of these items each parent will have to pay. This is usually expressed in percentages. Many states require each parent to pay 50% of these expenses, unless you reach another agreement.

8. College Expenses

   This may not be an important part of everyone's divorce checklist, but something to consider. Will either spouse be required to contribute to college funds for the kids? Is this amount to be included in child support payments, or in addition to base child support?

9. Claiming Dependents on Taxes

   Who will be entitled to claim the kids on their taxes? Oftentimes, this is split between both parents. For example: if there are 2 kids from the marriage, each parent claims 1 until the oldest turns 18. Then, the parents alternate claiming the 2nd child until he turns 18. If there is an odd number of kids, it might be easier to alternate claiming all the kids between both parents. This can be used as a bargaining tool, as well. In my case, I didn't get any alimony, but I did get to claim both of my kids for a few years after the divorce instead.

   It is very important that you clearly spell out who claims which kids, and when. If your ex claims kids he shouldn't on his taxes, you will have your divorce decree to submit to the IRS should they ask questions.

10. Alimony/Maintenance

    In the courts, alimony is determined by the amount of difference between the spouses' earning capabilities. Has one spouse stayed at home with children for an extended time? Does that spouse have education or skills to get a decent job and support themselves? Is the wife pregnant? Does the couple have young children? These are the things the courts will consider when making the decision.

    If you do have an alimony allowance in your divorce terms, make sure you answer the following questions in your paperwork. Will one spouse pay alimony to the other? What are the reasons for alimony, or for not allowing for alimony? How much, and for how long? Will the amount decrease over time? Can this amount be modified in the future?

11. Insurance

    The courts will require you to state who will carry health insurance for the kids. It can be either of the parents or both. If one parent is required to do so, usually the other parent pays a portion of the monthly premium.

    Will either spouse be required to carry life insurance? Oftentimes, the spouse who makes a child support payment is required to carry life insurance with the other spouse as beneficiary. That way, the parent who gets child support will get future payments from life insurance in the event of death of the other parent.

12. Joint-Owned Business

    This part won't be a part of every couple's divorce checklist, but is worth mentioning. Do the spouses own a business together? If so, you will have to decide if the business will be sold, and how the profits will be divided. If one spouse will continue to own and run the business, will that spouse buy-out the other spouse's interest in the business?

13. Professional Fees

    If either of you are using an attorney for divorce proceedings, will you both pay for your own, or is your spouse paying part or all of your attorney's fees? (or vice versa) If you are drawing up your papers on your own and having an attorney review them, you can split the cost of the fees.

There are certainly other issues that can and will arise in special circumstances; no two divorces are the same. This divorce checklist is intended to help you get the negotiations started, and hopefully reach an agreement with your soon-to-be ex. If you reach a sticky spot that you can't seem to agree on, think outside the box. Can you give up something in one area to gain something else?

You can also try a divorce mediator. Some mediators can give you legal advice for divorce, and others just help you work through all the decisions you have to make. Bring your divorce checklist and highlight the areas you need help with, to save time. Believe me, 2-3 hours with a mediator can be time and money very well spent. Just remember- this is the hard part. When you're done working through all the details, you can get on with your new life. It's gonna be great!