Building An Online Dating Profile
(That Works!)
If you haven't tried online dating yet, you should. It worked particularly well for me. I had a very limited amount of time to myself, and I wasn't interested in wasting my time or my heart on relationships that weren't a good fit. It's great for people like me because it doesn't have to take a lot of time, you can meet a lot of people if you want to, and you know a bit about each person before you even meet them. Talk about efficient! I met the man of my dreams on a dating website, and I highly recommend dating this way. If this is new to you, or if you've tried it with lame results, try out these profile building pointers. A good online dating profile will attract attention, and lots of it! First things first; honesty is the best policy. Don't fudge your age or put up an old picture from 20 pounds ago. Just don't do it. You're unique and terrific just the way you are. The only thing you'll get from that strategy is a first date, nothing more. The goal is to find someone who likes you and appreciates you just the way you are. With that said, let's build a good online dating profile.
Write An Intriguing Introduction
The first thing your profile should do is give a good reason for the reader to keep reading. This part often shows up along with your picture when people are scanning through search results. In online dating, this is your one shot at a first impression. It should say something about you. If you like to crack jokes, put in a joke here. If you've got a favorite quote that defines you, you can put that here, too. You don't need to tell your whole life story here, just enough to get someone interested in what you have to say. Do not use this intro to state your height and weight, how many kids you have or your job. Those are just stats. Surely you can think of something more interesting to say about you.
Write a Good Description of Yourself
In the next paragraph, you can tell more about yourself and what you're looking for. Whatever you do, keep this section upbeat and positive. I've seen profiles where people go on and on about how terrible their last relationship was, and what they don't want in a date. No one wants to read that. No need to air out your dirty laundry for a bunch of strangers. You may have been through a lot, but if you talk about it so soon in the game, people will think you're negative all the time. The website might list that you are a single parent in your list of stats on your profile page. If you would like to add something about your kids and things you like to do together, feel free to do that here. This will give other online daters a well-rounded picture of who you are, what's important to you, and how you like to spend your time. P.S.- I used to worry about scaring off the guys who didn't have kids by talking about mine. Then I realized that I only wanted to attract the guys who definitely like and/or have kids. It was important to me to find someone who would care about my kids, too. Everyone else was a waste of my time. So, I wrote a profile that showed that I was proud to be a single parent, and attracted guys who appreciated that. Don't worry about writing a profile that will please everyone. A good profile should weed out people who are not a match for you. It's another thing that makes online dating so cool. It's more efficient, because you can find out things about people that you know are a deal breaker for you, and just not go out with them. So much faster than going out with someone for a few months and then finding out they're not a match for you.
Check Your Written Profile Before You Post It
Ok, now that you've written what should be a good description of yourself (in a nutshell) and turned it into an interesting online dating profile, read back over it. Check it over for spelling and grammar errors. Use the spell check feature on the website you are using, or copy and paste your written profile into your word processing program and use the spell and grammar check feature there. If you're not great at this stuff, have a friend read over it. Again, this is your first impression- make it a good one. Now check it for the KISS rule. (Keep It Simple Sweetie) You want to make sure that you've given the reader a window into your life, but don't open the flood gate. Leave a little bit of mystery; leave them wanting more.
Post a Good Picture
I know this may seem like common sense, but you have to post a good picture of yourself. I know, online dating can seem a tad on the shallow side because people always look at the picture first. Well, think about it. When you meet someone in person, don't you look at their face first? That's your first indication of whether or not you're interested, right? The advantage of online dating is that you can look at lots of guys without that awkward moment when he realizes you're staring at him...he he.Choose a picture that you like, that was taken fairly recently, and is in focus. You really want to choose a picture that shows just you. This is not the place to post a picture of you with your kids, or you with your ex cut out of the frame. You also don't want to use a picture of you with a bunch of friends, so people have to guess which one is you. Have your friends take some new ones if you can't find one you're happy with. This is the picture that should show the real you- no glamour shots, please. You want to choose a picture that looks like you, being you. Also, keep in mind that in online dating, the first picture you see is pretty small. Can you still see your face when the picture is thumbnail size? If not, resize it or pick another one. Ok, you got one? Good! After you've posted your main profile picture, you can add others. Now you want to add pictures of you doing different things you like. The same guidelines apply, though. Also, as a precaution I would suggest you avoid posting pictures of your kids on your profile. You are on a dating website. This is about you. Another note here- girlfriends, I know you want to show how fun, sexy, even wild you are, but let's keep our clothes on. This time around, you deserve a man who respects you as the single mom diva you are.
Then What?
After you've posted your main profile picture, you can add others. Now you can add pictures with the kids and friends. The same guidelines apply, though. In addition, I would suggest you avoid posting pictures of your kids on dating websites. You can always show someone pictures of your kids once you get to know them better and feel safe with them. Another note here- girlfriends, I know you want to show how fun, sexy, even wild you are, but let's keep our clothes on. This time around, you deserve a man who respects you as the single parent diva you are. Once your profile is posted, you can usually do a few searches to see if there is anyone interesting to you before you actually subscribe to the website. I would recommend doing this first so you don't waste your time and money on websites that don't work for you. Online dating is all about finding lots of people you would like to meet. Great profile picture? Check! Good, positive written profile? Check! You found a website you like with lots of interesting people? Check! Now you're ready to start meeting new people! Subscribe to the website you like. Again, only sign up for 1-3 months. I know, they offer discounted prices if you sign up for 6-12 months, but think about it; if a website works for you, you'll know it right away. You can always come back to the same website and put up your profile again. I promise you, it works much better this way. What next? Check out how to actually meet people you meet online.
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